Me Myself and the Teacher

I was having an interesting conversation with my student about problems she was having at school. While I was giving her tutoring lessons for maths, she brought up the issue of getting along with her teacher because it was affecting her willingness to learn and ultimately affecting her results.

Interestingly, she commented on how student numbers have increased in her classroom and as all students have queries they would like to get answered, the teacher just don’t have enough time to address everybody. While such observations are not new as less teachers are coming through the system, the most insightful comment was how it affected her as a student.

Just like siblings fighting for their parents attention, teachers find themselves in similar situations. With less time for each student, every unsolved problem accumulates to add up until it reaches breaking point. The frustrating experience for my student added more fuel to the negativity and blame built up from a lack of a understanding towards the subject.

There are a lot of students having similar experiences. While many are able to resolve issues by themselves, some students are afraid to speak up and suffer in silence until breaking point. With a lack of faith and trust towards the teacher for solving queries, how do we expect students to develop a positive attitude towards learning and building towards their careers? And if the teachers have limited time for each student, how do we expect them to develop good relationship with the teachers?

How do you encourage your child to overcome the problem with the teacher?

Getting to the Heart of the Issue

Asking why your child about why they don’t get along with the teacher is important. Try to understand your child’s perspective about why they don’t get along with the teacher. May be your child feels like they are getting picked on by the teacher or the teacher is not rewarding them the marks for the effort or it could be a communication barrier. As parent’s you can decide whether you should organise a parent-teacher interview to discuss about the issue or not but importantly get to the heart of the issue. The underlying reason may be simpler than you think.

Seeking answers after class

Secondly, encourage your child to ask questions after class for any unresolved problems. Teachers want the students to understand what was taught because it makes their lesson easier for the next lesson. Also, seeking help demonstrates to the teacher that the student is motivated to learn, rather than a weakness which many students believe to be true.

Being Open and Honest With Your Teacher

Encourage your child to be open and honest with your teacher. It’s a great skill to develop at an early age because they can take on this habit with their employers later on in life. Teachers want your child to be happy at school and be willing to learn. The last thing teachers want is a disgruntled child distracting others so encourage your child to speak openly and honestly with their teachers.

Is This Your Worst Nightmare?

A few questions popped up in my head a few days ago as I wondered where we’d be if we weren’t hardworking and failed all the classes? And ultimately, where’d we be in our careers if those questions were fulfilled?

You may have already pictured the future prospect as not very bright. In fact, you might picture a grown up stacking up shelves at the supermarkets or flipping burgers at a fast food joint. There is nothing wrong with those positions when we are young in need of some money or to gain some life experiences to build up our resume for our future careers. But if we are 30 and have been doing the same thing for the past 15 years, then we may have a problem.

How can we avoid this so your nightmares doesn’t come true?

The underlying problem here is many students underestimate the importance of getting good grades. They develop bad study habits, become distracted and not willing to put in the efforts to achieve the scores they really deserve. Despite the teachers and parents encouraging them to score well, they lack the purpose of linking good grades to their career paths.

Ordinary students believe they have to make a leap from high school straight into their final career path. This expectation overwhelms them and they make little progress as a result.

Excellent students on the other hand always have a plan in sight. They may have started working in a fast food joint or supermarket, but they gain valuable experiences from those positions. The main difference is they understand that success is a lifelong plan. Excellent students make small incremental improvements in working towards their milestones.

At the end of the day, excellent students position themselves well in front of prospective employers because they are committed, willing to learn and not afraid to gain new experiences. Ultimately, their good habits for success help to establish trust and credibility that ordinary students don’t have.

The Increasing Gap Between Formal Education and Work

There is an ongoing debate about how our formal education system is failing to prepare our kids for their careers. Let’s stop the finger pointing and take action to better equip our next future generations for the transition. I think a great place to begin for work is developing better writing and spelling skills. Many graduates are getting a harsh reality check in their writing as they prepare for their careers. For some, writing a letter or an email becomes a time intensive and difficult task when productivity is encouraged by managers. The last thing employers are looking for are workers who lack basic writing and spelling skills while trying to write a simple letter.

Many of us have developed bad habits at school. We use unnecessary words to dress up our essays and assignments for the sole purpose of hitting the word limit instructed by the teacher. We often make the essay long winded, confusing and convoluted because we simply used too many words. These habits will continue to widen the gap between education and work if we don’t identify and resolve this issue immediately. Really, all the employers are looking for is someone who can present the work effectively and with simplicity.

Unfortunately, if you write for the sake of writing to fill out the white spaces at work, it will not sit well with the supervisor when they are busily occupied with other tasks. What is compounding the problem of poor writing skills is spelling because it reflects the inability to focus on attention to details and ultimately reflects badly on you.

So how can you help your child improve their writing and spelling skills?

1. Read excellent quality books

The good old fashion way of reading is still a great way to develop your child’s writing and spelling skills. Think of it as your child spending quality time with great teachers which will eventuate in higher standard of knowledge and mental processing abilities.

2. Bring out the trusty notepad

Encourage your children to get out a notepad to practice hand writing. Nothing beats the flow of mental clarity and expression during handwriting practices.

No matter what age your child is, having a strong foundation in writing skills will set them apart from many others. Especially now with autocorrect function on the phones and laptops, we can’t afford to be lazy by relying heavily on technology to do our job.Writing and spelling are just some of the skills that employers look at when the performance reviews truly count.

No Time Is Never A Good Excuse

Many of us have these dreams speaking multiple languages, play a guitar or create the next big thing. Then you ask them “why not?” and the usual response is something along the lines “I don’t have enough time”. 168 hours a week, 24 hours in a day, where does all the time go? Only we would know but people have never been better than ever to use excuses than today.

If we want something badly enough, we will dedicate some time in your busy week working towards those dreams which is why I don’t have enough time is never a good excuse. In fact, any excuse is never a good excuse period.

If we are that busy in a week, having one hour less sleep on the odd day each week to learn something new isn’t going to kill us. It is important to challenge ourselves to get up early and lead by example for the kids. Give them one less excuse to use on their road to becoming amazing.

In fact many of us have trouble saying no to simple things. We resort to doing what is easy like watching TV instead of exercising despite complaining how unfit we are.

How else can you help your child?

Encourage your child

Did you know kids are glued to the TV up to 5 hours a day? Instead of becoming a statistic, why not encourage them to use the time to learn something new? Even if it is 30 minutes each day on learning, it does add up over time. In a week alone your child would have spent 3.5 hours on learning which equates to a massive 182 hours of learning for the whole year. That’s equivalent to sitting through 27 films or travelling to and from work for 6 months. It’s going to be challenging at first, but if they use that extra 30 minutes wisely, they will look back and be thankful that action was taken.

Help your child plan out the week

Spend time with them to plan out their week. Children love to wing it but if you let them drift, kids will drift if we don’t set them a routine. Help them build structure in their day and block out some time in the week to learn something new they will be far better off for it.

Create Your Own Opportunity

We progress through life thinking opportunities will come to us and often wondered why some people seem more ‘luckier’ than others. They always get the top grades, the best job or finding the best partner as if the universe has given them the path of success. However what we may not realise is we create the opportunities ourselves based on whether we take the chance.

In the song by Eminem – Lose Yourself, he rapped “you only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime”. This is so true because all it takes is one opportunity to change our lives and one lucky break to make the leap to success we have always dreamt of. At those moments we can either play small or we can step up to make a change. Thomas Edison said it best: “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like hard work” How True!

It is a shame that schools don’t teach our children about seizing little windows of opportunities because from an early age, school presents many opportunities for your child which you may not be aware of. Leadership programs, scholarships, sports teams, debating, public speaking and maths competitions are windows of opportunities up for the taking. When your child is presented with those situations, they can either hide from it or grab it with both hands. I think more importantly, how your child seizes those opportunities can affect how they see opportunities and how far they can push the boundaries in the future.

Unfortunately, we often look back at those moments regretting the chances we didn’t take and wished that we had the courage to make the leap before. Encourage your child to seize windows of opportunities because they never know what doors may open. All they need to do is just try!

Please share your experiences of how you made the most of your opportunities and how it has changed your life

Never Eat More Than You Can Lift

I was at a lunch bar one day when I saw a group of school kids come in to buy lunch. At the counter, there were hot greasy fast food containing pies, pizzas, sausages and chips. However, you can order freshly made sandwiches or rolls that are both healthy and nutritious. As I waited for my freshly made roll, I couldn’t help but notice how many pies, chips and other greasy food were sold in the space of 5 minutes.

I don’t blame kids for ordering greasy food because one it is cheap, two it is quick and third it does appeal to their taste buds. It made me wonder the impact of the diet has on student performance. Unfortunately this topic regarding nutrition and diet for students is massive so I’m going to take one bite at a time. Like a car, petrol determines its performance. High quality petrol = high performance. Shouldn’t the same apply to us, good food = good performance. Research supports this and it has been shown food can negatively affect your memory, energy and concentration levels as well.^{1 2} But I like to ask parents, do you know what your child eats?

Parents can have a big impact on your child’s diet and ultimately their performance at school. You have the biggest say in what goes in the pantry and fridge. A good way to think about it is the amount of effort you put into cooking a healthy meal translates to a healthier school report. Next time instead of loading your pantry with junk foods, why not consider filling it with fresh fruits and vegetables. The last thing you would want is your kitchen churning out fast food like the lunch bar I was in.

 

1. http://www.thesundayindian.com/en/story/junk-food-could-also-damage-brain-study/118/39881/

2. http://www.livestrong.com/article/461051-how-does-junk-food-affect-the-way-you-concentrate/

Leadership Lesson From A 3 Year Old

As I write this from a cafe I see a 3 year old boy trying to lick every ounce of chocolate in a bowl. When he finished licking his chocolate, he gives me little thumbs up and I couldn’t help but laugh at the ring of chocolate around his face.

I learnt something important today from this boy in the café, something we tend to forget as we progress through life. We get acted upon by invisible boundaries by what society expects us to behave, do and think that we let our true feelings and talents die within us. For many of us this began in school where peer pressure dictated how we act, spoke, think and look. We forced our parents to buy things that weren’t necessary for us to fit in or belong to a group so other people don’t see us as an outcast.

We became self-conscious of other people’s criticism and gossip. This fear prevents us from expressing our true self because it may damage our egos and inflict emotional pain if we try to push the boundaries of the status quo. As a result this prevents us from doing the things that we wanted and deny ourselves of the achievements and feelings that we deserve.

As I have learnt from this 3 year old boy, we shouldn’t limit ourselves based on the perception of society so we can allow our inner creativity to flow out to express our true talents and feelings. So I like to ask you, what ideas or dreams were denied as a result of forgetting the 3 year old within you?

Having Trouble Staying Motivated?

Roger Federer © Gallo Images

In my previous blog entitled lost motivation if found please return I discussed about why we lose motivation. It came down to three reasons.

1. Nothing fails like success

2. Not having enough reasons to take action

3. Setting unrealistic goals. 

If you are looking for motivation you should take a page from the tennis superstar Roger Federer. When you look at his individual accolades, winning 17 grand slam titles from Australia, US, French and Wimbledon you wonder how Roger stays motivated to play at the top.

How to stay motivated?

1. Seek Constant Improvement

Roger Federer is always consistently seeking improvements in his game. He is always adding skills to his game year after year and it is truly remarkable seeing his game develop even after achieving so much. Roger understands that if he doesn’t improve his game, someone who is willing to work harder will.

The same applies for your child in their development. As they make the transition from school to work they need to add other skills to their repertoire to provide more value to their careers. It is a common sight seeing students stop learning after school/university while others continue to progress and eventually overtake them. If you find your child or yourself even struggling to find motivation, ask what aspects can you improve on?

2. Striving For Greatness

If you aim to become the best you can achieve great results. Even if you fall short you are closer to towards your goals than not taking action at all. Roger consistently strives for greatness even after winning 17 grand slams and I believe every child should too. When they strive for greatness they can achieve excellent results and this attitude reflects in other areas of their life to.

3. Make Use of the Time Off

Sometimes our head is so buried in the woods we lose sight of our end goal. We try to force things to happen instead we should take a step back to let things happen. Roger doesn’t play in a tennis tournament every day, he has his game time and then he has off-season to recharge. The same applies for your children at school, they have school time which requires them to focus in class and then they have vacations to reinvigorate those brain cells for the following term.

Lost Motivation If Found Please Return

Every so often, we hit a ceiling of learning that slows our progress in the things we do. From our studies, hobbies or sports, we find ourselves motivated and open to learning new skills at the beginning. Our enthusiasm often makes us happy as we achieve results which we thought would be impossible just a while ago. Overtime as we practice more and more, we often hit a ceiling of learning.

What is this ceiling?

It is simply a belief that acts as a barrier in our minds that we are not improving as fast as before. So what does it mean?  Have you ever had this situation where you get pass levels 1-4 on a game you downloaded on your phone. As you progress higher, the game started to become more difficult. It was great success initially until it became harder and we started to fail or make more mistakes. Our patience shrinks and frustration may start to sink in, causing us to give up and lose motivation from trying further. Only the persistent get back up to try again. However for some, it may have been their last attempt.

Why do we lose motivation?

1. Nothing fails like success

We work so hard to fulfil our dreams and goals that when we achieve our dreams and goals we just want to protect our achievements. That moment we start protecting our achievements and stop focusing on doing the things that make us successful is the beginning of our demise. This lesson doesn’t just apply in the world of business; it applies in the class room as well. If your child scores exceptionally well at school, encourage them to continue studying because when they score exceptionally well, they are most tempted to stop studying so hard.

2. Not enough reasons

There are far too many excuses for giving up and merely enough reasons to keep us motivated for further success. This experience is very real in the class room as well. When we score less than what we expect in a test despite studying our hearts out, it is easy to give up when the going gets tough. We think to ourselves “what is the point of trying so hard when our results only end up average”. But remember this – great results come from our motivation to keep going because we have BIG enough reasons. So what is it that makes drives your child?

3. Goals are unrealistic

It is great to set goals because it gives us a sense of achievement and progress. But if they are set too high to start off with, we might get overwhelmed and lose our motivation before we even begin. Just like learning to walk before learning to run, it is more rewarding to set goals at incremental steps rather than a final destination. If your child wanted to score 95% in the classroom and has been averaging 60%, rather than putting emphasis to make a leap straight to 95%, it may be more achievable to go 60-65%, 65-70%, then slowly progress to 95%. More realistic goals allow your child to envisage themselves making progress as well as giving them the self-confidence to improve even further.

Thinking Beyond Yourself

Have you ever found your child not wanting to eat something that you cooked because it “looks disgusting”? What about not wanting to go to school because they just “can’t be bothered”? At times you want to put it in perspective for your child by telling them to think about the people who go to bed hungry or the children who sacrifice their education to make a living. Sometimes, it is hard to force that perspective and I appreciate teaching your child gratitude is difficult because we are naturally self-centred. So I thought about how I can help your child become more grateful. Here are 3 strategies to encourage your child to think beyond just them.

1. Lead by Example 

If you are grateful for everything around you the more gratitude you can express to those around you. Children model their parent’s behaviours and habits in every way, so lead by example. You can lead by example by first saying “please” and “thank you”.

2. Encourage Generosity

One of the best ways to get children to think beyond themselves is to learn the art of giving. Develop the habit of donating old clothes and money to charity and you can inspire your child to pull something out of their closet or money jar for others. Many children in third world countries aren’t so fortunate to have the basic necessities and if children can develop this level of appreciation you have set them up on the path of success.

3. Get Children Involved

There is no better way to teach children than experience. You can tell your child all about thinking beyond yourself but it is likely it will go in one ear and straight out the other. When children see it first-hand such as a soup kitchen, they will understand how lucky they are. When they don’t feel like eating something that looks disgusting or not wanting to study, they can draw from first-hand experiences. That helps put things in perspective.